Pay attention, my dear readers. There are certain elite thinkers in this world who are sick and tired of your whining. So shut up and get out your cereal bowls and be happy.
The CEO of Kellogg Co. has a suggestion for you complainers that are paying more for food than at any time in the last 30 years. You can save money in your food budget if you eat cereal for dinner. CEO Gary Pilnick says that a bowl of cereal with milk will cost less than a dollar a bowl. So there! Hooray for Bidenomics. Bring out the Kaboom and let the good times roll.
Monday night dinner could feature Fruit Loops instead of fat-laden juicy hamburgers. Tuesday night, you, the little lady and the kids could indulge in Frosted Flakes in place of gooey spaghetti loaded with all kinds of bad old climate-killing beef products.
Wednesday night could be a special dinner recognizing the family savings from the two previous nights’ dinners. “Hey, kids, let’s celebrate with two cups of Lucky Charms in place of roast chicken, with all the methane-laden chicken waste that’s killing the ozone layer.”
Thursday night would be an austere dinner of Rice Krispies to make up for the extravagance of Wednesday. Friday would be a celebration of Bill Gates’ new Save the World meals, like cricket crunch. Saturday could feature crazy cicadas, and a Sunday dinner of Special K and cockroach will end the weekly menu.
What great family fun and educational opportunities awaits a dinner fashioned around cereal. Dad will ask the first fun question about cereal mascots. “OK, kids, who says, ‘They’rrre great’?”
“OK, Jane, this is your question: What is the other name for Niacinamide?”
Mom could play her part by asking a scientific question like, “Two thirds of a cup of Captain Crunch provides how much of the daily requirement of riboflavin? Danny, that’s your question, because I know that riboflavin is one of your favorite ingredients.”
You get the idea what a dinner treat this’ll be.
America will be soon filled with families gathered around the new dinner table. They will start out by giving thanks to President Biden for his wise policies that have led to cereal for dinner:
“Thank you, Mr President, for Bidenomics, which has led us to this cereal dinner. We thank you for the polyunsaturated fat, niacin, 20% of our daily requirement of thiamin and 30% of our daily requirement of vitamin B6. We also thank Mr. Pilnick and the scientists at Kellogg for their expertise in providing this food with an easy opening box. And we thank John Kellogg for inventing the original corn flake, which led to the revolutionary frosted version.
“We also want to thank Hunter Biden tonight for being a dedicated defender of America. He has been sober for many years, and we hope his sobriety continues because he is defending democracy in America as well Bidenomics and the Biden regime.
“Thank you, Hunter, our sober savior, AMEN!”
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