You Can Make A Big Dent In Global Warming – Just Quit Farting

We are all aware of the absolute joke that is the Green New Deal. While I admit, we do need to be environmentally conscious, this proposal is absurd. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has committed herself to eliminating airplanes and cow flatulence. Others have hypothesized that dinosaur flatulence may have altered the earth’s temperature in the past. This is nothing new, but a recent study sheds new light on just how dangerous farts really are.

I wish I could say I was joking, but I’m not. In a new report, it has been confirmed that humans excrete more methane that originally thought. According to the article, natural and human release of methane accounts for higher amounts of methane release in the environment. This could account for up to a quarter of the global warming we are experiencing. The original article deals with this from the various aspects of how humans have influence on methane release, but let’s truly take a closer look.

To truly save the environment and help with climate change, we now must eliminate methane. As previously mentioned, AOC suggested that we help with this through eliminating airplanes and cow farts. Even this article we are discussing says that methane is more potent than the silent, but deadly carbon dioxide. Other articles have described the makeup of the human gas excretion, describing how it contains methane. So we can definitely reach the conclusion that the butt trumpet is a dangerous instrument to play.

We can also draw conclusions from this article, which says that you could literally kill someone with your flatulence. I have felt this way before when someone drops the methane bomb in a room I’m present in. Actually, a simple act of a fart has led to death in the past. In theory, you could argue that someone is walking around carrying a concealed weapon everywhere they go. Should we argue for arrests for someone who passes gas in a public space like a subway?

If we must eliminate cow flatulence, we must also eliminate the ability for someone to “cut the cheese.” Healthcare experts tell us that this is a natural process and is healthy for you. While you can mitigate the risk of embarrassing gas, you really cannot prevent it. So how can we truly address this climate crisis to prevent further death and the potential destruction of the human race?

While a lot of this article is farce, it could also very well be a new platform item for the Democratic Party. Each and every day the Democrats seem to come up with some new plan or idea that is just as absurd as what I wrote above. Take the aforementioned Green New Deal. Some of the suggestions in the plan are insane. Yes, eliminating cow farts and plane travel are included, but that’s not all.

Also included in the plan are:

• guaranteed jobs
• wages for anyone who is unable or unwilling to work
• free education
• free housing
• forced diet changes
• electrical grid changes
• mandatory building remodeling/retrofitting
• eliminating fossil fuel usage completely
• eliminating nuclear energy
• government regulation of private industry

It certainly sounds like they are addressing climate issues in the plan right? This is the absurdity of the Democratic Party. It’s the party that wants to eliminate all the good things we enjoy in life. So remember, the next time you stink it up and feel the relief that comes from it, you very may be driving the next platform item for the Democrats. After all, we can easily see that they are all full of hot air.

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